|
Breaking News |
|
|
|
|
Featured Advertiser |
 |
|
|
Saturday, 26 July 2008 |
|
by Stacey Mantzioris, Barcelona
Good afternoon, American Express...can I help you?
I am officially a statistic. Pickpocket victim #3872B on the
Barcelona subway system. How it happened is not important. What's
important is the aftermath. Never again will I criticize the Canadian
bureaucracy...can I get a round of O Canada? Hell yeah.
Let's first establish that I lost everything. Passport, Visa, Amex,
birth certificate, drivers license, and most importantly the phone
number of a really cute waiter. So there I am without a pot to piss
in, and the Canadian consulate in Barcelona (which contains not one
single Canadian by the way) tells me that I have to go to Madrid to
get a passport since they are closing in half an hour. Sure they are.
Two hours later they had arranged for me to leave the country with my
police report and pick up my passport in Rome. Because its next door
and that makes sense.
Next there was Visa. After arranging for emergency funds they tell me
to go to a BBVA (Spanish bank) with my photocopied ID and police
report. The manager at said bank laughed at my photocopies,then
refused to call the toll free Visa International number from his desk
and told me to go use a pay phone. Yes, I was actually kicked out of
a bank. I never thought I was capable of killing a man, but I now
know that I could do it.
By far the best has to be the ticket clerk at the subway though. The
next day Angie and I asked him if by chance anyone had returned the
remains of my wallet. He jumps up and goes "wait wait wait!" and we
stood there expecting him to either come back with someone who could
help, or heaven forbid, my wallet. But no. He comes back with a lit
cigar and sits down. Apparently the emergency was that his cigar had
extinguished itself. This is all true, so help me God.
Anyway, I made it out of Spain and am now making my way through Italy.
At the moment I am in Venice, writing from a location called Campo
San Pantalone...yes, really. No one has been by to check yet so I
still have mine on but it could only be a matter of time. It is of
course, beautiful here beyond belief...so romantic I could vomit. Not
a fun place to be single...but the good news is I've fallen in love
with myself more deeply than ever before. I think I might pop the
question.
That's it for me... and if you happen see anyone walking around with
my identity over there feel free to smash them.
Ciao for now,
Stacey xoxo |
